1) Hang out and interact with other HAMSters.
2) Deprogram from the disease model.
3) Track your use.
4) Take steps to reduce harm.
5) Take steps to reduce use--implement use reduction tricks/tips/strategies.
6) Do a Cost/Benefit Analysis.
7) Choose/create your plan.
8) Address any issues which led to overdrinking.
9) Honestly report your progress/struggles.
10) Learn to have fun without booze.
11) Learn to cope without booze.
12) Praise yourself for every success!!
13) Tweak the plan.
14) Don't be afraid to get back on the horse.
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THE 14 ELEMENTS OF THE HAMS PROCESS
I call these elements rather than steps because "steps" implies a sequential process--and any of the elements of HAMS can be done in any order. Every element is optional--none is required. Each individual needs to pick and choose that which is actually helpful to them. We are all different. Moreover, success at any of the 14 elements makes you a successful HAMSter!!
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1) Hang out and interact with other HAMSters.
Reading books and web sites is a fine thing--and perhaps for a small number of people this may be all they need to do to control their drinking--but for most of us there is probably no substitute for the hands on human interaction one can find by actually participating with other humans--even if it is just online.
Lurking is a fine way to start out if you are shy, and if you are the brave sort post away!! There are things to be learned from everyone--even the newbie making their first post. And over time one may actually find the listbies becoming a family.
Live meetings of HAMS are also opening all over the country. If you happen to live in an area with a live meeting you are fortunate indeed!!
Some individuals will prefer live support and some will prefer the anonymity of online support. It matters not which you choose, or if you choose to do both.
Remember:
Peer support can move mountains!!
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2) Deprogram from the disease model.
HAMS never tells HAMSTERS what to think--HAMS expects people to make up their own minds about things. HAMS simply presents information.
Some people who come to HAMS have found benefits from 12 step programs. Those people are perfectly welcome to skip element 2.
Other people may have suffered harm as a result of participating in 12 step programs. Some have reported increases in drinking, in risk, and in abusing other substances as a result of participation in 12 step groups. HAMS recommends that these people deprogram from the disease model.
Still others may never have had a problem with alcohol but may have been remanded to AA attendance as a result of a drug offense. HAMS also recommends that these people deprogram from the disease model before attempting any form of moderate drinking.
Finally, there are people who have drank wildly in their youths but now have matured and would like to attempt moderate drinking. If these people have been attending AA, we also recommend that they deprogram from the disease model
There are many people for whom the belief that alcohol is powerful and that humans are powerless is NOT of help in abstaining--much less in practicing harm reduction or moderation. For these people, it may well be more helpful to believe that HUMANS are cunning and baffling and powerful and that ALCOHOL is an inanimate object and is inherently without power!!
HAMS recommends that those who are planning to drink again do not rush precipitously into this decision, but rather that they spend plenty of time deprogramming first. If problems do arise, these people should try to be prepared to return to abstinence.
HAMS also recommends that people who wish to abstain and who are not finding the 12 step model helpful find another model. Doing a cost-benefit analysis and seeking the support of other HAMSTERS who are abstaining is one reasonable course--as is seeking help from secular groups such as SMART or SOS.
Some may find the Yahoo group 12-step-free useful for this deprogramming process, as well as Ken Ragge's site, The Orange Papers, and AA Deprogramming.
Remember HAMSTERS:
POWER ON!!!!!
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3) Track your use.
Charting the exact amount of alcohol which one drinks has proved an invaluable tool to many who desire to reduce the amount of alcohol which they consume. One can use a calendar for charting or an excel spreadsheet. My Way Out also has an online drink counter which is freely available for use by anyone.
One can chart in many ways: one may choose to record ounces, milliliters, or number of drinks. One can even choose just to track the amount which they buy if they don't keep booze in the house. If one chooses to record the number of drinks then it is essential that one record standard drinks. Many bar drinks actually consist of 2 or 3 or even 4 standard drinks. One standard drink contains 0.6 oz of pure ethanol. This corresponds to one 12 ounce beer at 5% alcohol or one 5 ounce glass of wine at 12% alcohol or one 1 and 1/2 ounce shot of hard alcohol at 40% (8- proof) alcohol.
If one chooses to drink at a bar one must guess how much alcohol is in each drink. If one is friends with the bartender one can perhaps get him to serve one only standard drinks. And if one drinks at home one can measure for oneself.
Many people report that simply tracking how much they use leads then to cut back on the amount they use without even trying. At any rate--drink counting provides an essential baseline to let one know where one is at and allows one to define where one wants to go.
Remember:
Pyrex is your friend!!
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4) Take steps to reduce harm.
Drinking in and of itself is not a bad thing. It is the harm which often accompanies drinking which is problematic.
ANYTHING which can be done to reduce this harm is a positive step EVEN IF ONE DOES NOT REDUCE THE QUANTITIES ONE DRINKS.
Never drink any amount and drive. Even under the legal limit there are laws which can hold you accountable. THERE IS NO SAFE LEVEL OF ALCOHOL FOR DRIVING.
Planning one's drinking sessions is essential. Planning for safety is essential.
Remember:
Failing to plan is planning to fail.
If one has a penchant for drinking and driving then lock up the car keys before drinking. Or walk or take public transportation to the bar.
If you PUI (Post Under the Influence) then turn off the computer before drinking.
The same for drunk driving.
And if you drink be sure to take enough vitamins and supplements to minimize the damage done to the body by alcohol.
Remember:
IF YOU CAN'T BE GOOD, BE CAREFUL
and
SAFETY FIRST!!
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5) Take steps to reduce use.
Choose a goal which is right for you now. Remember that nothing here is written in stone and you may always continue to modify your goal as time goes on.
There are numerous ways to approach use-reduction. One is to add abstinence days. Another is to reduce the number of drinks per session. One strategy is to only buy the quantity which one intends to drink. Another is to start later. Another is to end earlier. Another is to bring only a set amount of cash and no credit cards to the bar.
Doing a period of abstinence is also helpful in reducing use. Most HAMSters have done at least a 30 day abstinence period at some point. Some have done longer periods--90 days or even a year.
If a 30 seems daunting then try two weeks, or one week, or whatever seems doable.
Even one day of abstinence is a cause for celebration!!
And ANY reduction in use is a MAJOR POSITIVE CHANGE!!
For more details on ways to reduce use check out the sections Use Reduction Tips and Sample Plans.
Remember:
Eat the elephant one bite at a time!!
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6) Do a Cost/Benefit Analysis.
A very helpful preliminary step in making any plan for change is to analyze the costs and benefits of changing the behavior.
One can compare overdrinking vs. abstinence, or overdrinking vs. moderation or moderation vs. abstinence or any two possible behaviors.
For example, let is compare overdrinking with moderation.
Get out four sheets of paper. On the first write down all the pros of overdrinking. On the second write down all the cons of overdrinking. On the third write down all the pros of moderation. On the fourth write down all the cons of moderation.
Once you have written everything down, your thoughts will be clearer in your head and you will be better prepared to make your HAMS plan.
Remember:
Know thyself!!
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7) Choose/create your plan.
Everyone who comes to HAMS is different and each of us will have different goals we wish to pursue.
Some of us will choose to stay within ARF limits, or even far under those limits. Some will decide that they wish to drink to intoxication on occasion, but not too frequently or in a manner which causes life problems. And some may just decide that it is simplest to abstain totally.
EVERY PLAN IS A GOOD ONE WHEN CHOSEN BY THE INDIVIDUAL!!
HAMS is about making ANY positive change--and we are here to support any positive change which any member makes.
Some plans which different individuals have made are listed in the section Sample Plans.
An important part of a plan is scheduling drinking days and abstinence days.
Remember:
Different strokes for different folks!!
and
Plan, plan, plan--schedule, schedule, schedule!!
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8) Address any issues which led to overdrinking:
Psychological, emotional, physical, social, relationship, financial, etc. None of us are necessarily experts in any of these areas, and even if we were experts, a self help group is not a substitute for professional advice. What we CAN do is offer support while you work on these things.
Seeking out professional help and addressing these issues via talk therapy, medication, or other means can be a very useful adjunct to the HAMS process.
Remember the words of Victor Frankl:
"Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
and
"When we are no longer able to change a situation--we are challenged to change ourselves."
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9) Honestly report your progress/struggles.
HAMS is a safe and supportive place where you need never be afraid to tell the truth. ALWAYS feel free to report any struggles you are having to others on the lists or in chat.
Remember that MM founder Audrey Kishline's downfall came from a need to always put on a face of perfection for everyone.
Here was a person who had to be either perfectly moderate or perfectly abstinent and who left herself no room for harm reduction and no room for imperfection and self forgiveness.
HAMS is not a program where you need to show others that you are perfect.
So feel free to accept that you are doing the best you can and keep on moving forward, onward, and upward!
Remember:
Perfectionism is a killer.
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10) Learn to have fun without booze.
Abs days should be a pleasure--not a torture. There is always a tremendous amount of fun going on in the chats and on the lists.
And there are museums, books, knitting--a world of things to do.
Remember:
Alcohol is a thief of time
and
Goofing off is serious therapy!!
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11) Learn to cope without booze.
Many people find that their most disastrous drinking episodes occur when they drink in reaction to stressors such as anger or depression or anxiety or some other negative emotion.
Not only are these the times when one may be most likely to overdrink, these are also the times when one is most likely to do something stupid while drinking.
There are a host of ways to deal with negative emotions besides drinking. These include, but are not limited to, acupuncture, yoga, hot baths, talk therapy, expressing anger instead of bottling it up, etc.
Remember:
When life hand you lemons you'd better drink lemonade
because
Drinking when you feel bad is bad drinking!
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12) Praise yourself for every success!!
Every abs day is a MAJOR success!! Every time you lower your drink count you have made a GREAT achievement!! Every time you drank safely without endangering yourself or others then kudos to you!!
And any step you make towards overcoming a life problem that leads to drinking is cause to pat your own back!!
Remember:
Better is always better!!
and
The first person to love is yourself!!!
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13) Tweak the plan.
People change over time and it is always worthwhile to review your plan and decide if you want to alter it.
People are free to change their plan to HR or ARF or ABS at any time.
If the current plan is not working feel free to change it.
Or if the current plan is working but no longer fits the person you have become--then change it.
Remember:
The only rule is that there are no rules!!
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14) Don't be afraid to get back on the horse.
Don't ever beat yourself up and call yourself a "failure". In HAMS the only forbidden F-word is the word "failure". As long as you are here and posting, you are moving ahead.
Don't wallow in shame or toxic emotions. Pick yourself up and start again--maybe adjusting your goals.
Whether your goal is ARF, HR or ABS, don't give up!! Just keep on keeping on!!
Remember:
"Fall down 7 times get up 8."
and
Patience, practice, persistence---NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, GIVE UP!!
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